Did I Just Graduate College or Kindergarten?

This is my little tale about how my college graduation was more like a kindergarten graduation.

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As I mentioned a few weeks ago, after nine semesters (because I just had to take 2 years of Japanese) I am finally graduated!

Being an English/Theatre teaching major, my college career has not been simple. On top of classes I have worked over three hundred hours on practicum, whether it was in a school or in the theater, on top of working several jobs. Then this semester I have barely kept afloat between student teaching, directing three shows at the acting school I work at, and coaching a dance team. It was a good thing that I had such supportive friends, family, and coworkers to keep me alive.

I joked with my friends that instead of walking, I would crawl across the stage. I told my parents I wasn’t going to walk at all! Their response?

“Yeah right.”

So the big day came and the night before I hurried into Hobby Lobby to get last minute craft supplies because I decided I wanted to decorate the top of my graduation cap. After forty five minutes (HOURS according to Cody) I came up with my design and got home to fire up the ole glue gun. Here is what  I wore on my head:


Why, yes I did go there.

I thought, perhaps keeping a brush of bitterness in the design, as well as my favorite novel series, and of course glitter, this cap design perfectly summed up me. And although accidental, the hot glue smudges added the perfect, messy touch. What would my life be without glue stains and glitter?

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The morning of graduation, of course ten minutes before I am supposed to be there, I am still putting last minute touches on my graduation cap and I’m ironing my gown. The plan for the morning is that Cody will drop me off so I could avoid finding a place to park. The stress that comes with being perpetually late is stuck in my gut, but its not as intense of the anxiety of the idea of Cody not stopping to get me coffee. I’m out of cream at home so there’s this dangerous idea that instead of dropping me by to get a quick latte, he will take me straight to the coliseum to avoid being even later.

I rush over to his apartment (of course he’s already ready), and put my gown and my cap on…except something’s not right.

I look at Cody with this face that he knows only too well.

“What’s wrong?”

I fidget with my cap some more and then rip it off and turn  it over. The brand label, Jonston matches the direction that my cap is decorated…but underneath that in tiny little letters and upside down reads, ‘Front of cap.’

“I decorated my cap upside down.”

Instantly Cody bursts out laughing, because after all this totally sums up me, and I start crying. I’m not talking little tears either.

I call my mom and through my sobs I tell her I’m not going to walk because if someone tells me I have to go across the stage with, “CUZ MY HOGWARTS LETTER GOT LOST” upside down I’m done.

Cody convinces me to get in the car and I’m playing with my cap to try and pull the whole thing off and I tell Cody, though he’s still laughing, that he needs to at least stop by McDonalds, although preferably Starbucks to get me my morning cup of coffee. Sobering a little he gives me the news  in the stubborn way I know he won’t budge on: He’s not getting me coffee.

Now it is 8:00 in the morning and  because I’m a moron for decorating my graduation cap upside down and a little sad to walking, I start to cry again. But this time (please refer to the chart) it is a big whopping blubbering cry because for some reason I can’t face this morning with a coffee cup in my hand.

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It may not be so obvious, but look closer at how my cap is different.

So I call Kelsee, my little sister/roommate, who fixes everything. It is in her nature to take care of people. As soon as she picked up the phone and heard my first sniffle she was out the door. Grande Chesnut Praline no-fat, black bobby pins, and more mascara–she’s on it.

Meanwhile Cody is in the front seat still laughing and rolling his eyes at my tantrum. Its moments like these that I think he’s going to make a great father.

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I barely manage to put my face together before entering the Coliseum, where all of my fellow student teacher graduates are talking about how crazy this semester has been. I don’t dare open my mouth because I wouldn’t be able to shut it.

With Kelsee to the rescue, my coffee in my hand, and my graduation cap on backwards finally it came time to walk to our seats. Luckily, we got to choose where we sat and I sat between my two guy friends that had worked at the same school as I had.

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One of these guys, who loves it when I describe him as metal, made me laugh every time we were on the overhanging screen by making absurd death metal faces and punching his fist in the air. Every time the camera would pan over the group of graduates as a whole, he and I would rock our heads side to side so we could pick out where we were in the crowd. My cap even got quite the amount of screen time (guess the camera man is a HP fan too).

I walked, and happily too, and when I got to see my family they looked at my cap and tried to reassure me that they couldn’t tell it was on backwards, although it didn’t change the fact that I knew it was. Regardless I hugged and loved on my family and Cody, who have supported me so much these last few years. We went out to eat, had a good lunch together, and as soon as I got home, I took a giant nap for two hours.

When I woke up and it was too late in the day for me to do anything too productive I looked at my graduation cap again and couldn’t help but think, ‘Did I just graduate college or kindergarten?’ Monday I would begin to substitute teach and surely figure out that it was the former.

 

 

Drawing-5

3 thoughts on “Did I Just Graduate College or Kindergarten?

  1. I just realized today that I made the same mistake when decorating my graduation cap! I’ve been freaking out about it, but reading this post and seeing your pictures have made me feel better. Thank you!

  2. Those stinking hats are so confusing! Don’t worry, no one will say a word to you if you don’t point out you’re wearing the hat backwards. Just rock it, you’ve got this girl.
    And congrats! <3

  3. Thanks for this article. I just graduated sunday, and due to almost being late, wore mine backwards also. I was mortified. This lets me know that others made the same mistake, and im not a graduate imbecile.

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