I hope everyone has had a fantastic Thanksgiving and you’re not too bruised up from Black Friday shopping.
Christmas is less than a month away and day by day my spirits are lifting…although it may not be for what you think.
Finally (and I mean FINALLY) I am graduating from college.
My ride through school has been the typical, stressful story of a college student, however I have always felt different than most college students. Many times walking through campus or sitting in class I felt as if I did not belong.
I’m not sure how, but all of my being has felt as if I have lived a very long time.
Hearing stories about parties and dating, campus clubs and events on campus has always left me with a feeling of being excluded, but at the same time a dry sense of apathy. Rarely have I wished to be a part of a campus organization, or be a part of the night life scene. Even when I lived on campus, I would occasionally look at other students and wonder how they managed to feel joy from dedicating their time to campus clubs that didn’t affect their future careers. Through empathy, I can see why college kids would want to have a social life, however I did not want that for myself. I found joy in making during my spare time. I liked crocheting, decorating, and painting whenever I got the chance to sit down.
Perhaps the blame of my feeling of displacement is to fall on my passion for teaching. I have known for eight years that I wanted to be a teacher. Every decision made since then has been towards that career. Perhaps I could blame how serious I was with my jobs throughout school, whether it concerned my work at the acting school or the retail job where I temporarily managed. Working 30-40 hours a week on top of classes can be draining. Perhaps I am just an old soul.
Instead of throwing up the next day, or living in a hole in the wall dorm room, my heart has always craved a nice place to live in, godly adult friends, and a career I enjoy.
Please don’t assume that I have spent the last four years of my life, wishing it away. I have enjoyed the ride, regardless of how bumpy it has been. I am truly grateful to have had the opportunity to learn and grow during college. But graduating and moving forward to what I believe the purpose that God gave me in life is going to be fulfilled.
When I finally started student teaching, I felt at home. Call me crazy, but this semester I have loved getting up in the morning, teaching, and going to bed early. I have loved being surrounded by other people passionate about children and education. Sure, on top of student teaching, coaching a dance team and directing three shows has made me tired and stressed, but this has been the best semester of my college experience. Finally all of my pain and tears from all of the college classes paid off. Finally, next Friday I will be graduating.
It’s been an awesome, long run, and I’m looking forward to the next chapter in my life and what God has in store for me…which will hopefully be a full time job and more time for crafting and writing!